it is what it is

Sometimes things just don’t turn out how you want. Today was supposed to be a regular day at work, followed by a third attempt at making bread. I failed last night, my little ball of dough never really raised and after using all the tricks I know (not so many) I had to toss it in the garbage. It was so sad having to throw it out, like I was killing a small animal.

One of the shift managers at my store is very ill. It seems she may have type-1 diabetes, the kind that can surface when you are an adolescent or a younger adult. I have a friend who almost went into a diabetic coma and could have died when they found out he had diabetes, and the girl I work with has been sick for a while with all the symptoms. Today she went to the emergency room after being close to blacking out every time she stood up.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a lot of money, good insurance or the luxury of missing a lot of work for doctors’ appointments. She supports her 3-year-old son and lives on her own. She’s been working toward becoming a salaried manager for about six month and has been passed up for reasons mostly unknown and seemingly unfair, in my opinion.

Anyway, this morning I found out she was in the hospital, which was terrible, but in a way a blessing because she was pushing herself really hard to keep working and try to feel better. It also meant my evening of relaxing and bread making would have to be postponed in favor of working 13 hours. And it also means tomorrow I will have to work 12 hours, followed by working on Sunday (supposed to be my day off) and probably six or seven days next week.

It seems horrible to complain considering the circumstances, but if this had happened a few weeks back, I know I would have had the total support of my ex-assistant manager, who was very dedicated, almost to a fault. Not to say that my new assistant isn’t dedicated, but he has a wife and kids and a life, frankly, which is good, but it also means the burden of covering the shifts falls a bit more on me. It’s my job, it is what it is, as my boss might say.