I have not felt terribly like writing the last two weeks, as many of you can tell. I've been trying to maintain a reasonable level of busy-ness this holiday season, and overall it's been pretty good, but I just haven't had the mental energy to write. I have been trying to shop less, minimize the time I spend vulnerable to sales on cute clothes and things I don't really need for the house. I really want to save more money, just like I really want to go to the gym more often, but somehow it never really happens. There is a part of me that is really lazy. I mean, I'm a hard worker, but there are a lot of things I want to do and feel like I never have time for. Or maybe that's because my job totally consumes my life? I don't know. Would anything be different if I had a less stressful job? Or a job where I didn't have to be so responsible for so many things? I don't know. I want to spend time writing, taking a class here and there, and still have a decent amount of (the hated word) "balance" to take care of myself, my home, etc. It's just so hard, and I don't even have children. When I see mothers in the restaurant carrying, pulling, dragging children with them, it freaks me out. I am not ready for that kind of committment. Even married, I am very independent, and always have been. I can't imagine having to worry about a child when going about my daily doings. Not that I am particularly considering children, but lately I see more and more women who look my age or younger towing one or two kids. I don't know where I am going with this post at all, and this lame ending just illustrates how un-blogging my mood is. Alas..
posted by Laura @ 10:18 PM
2 Comments:
Laura:
I know what you mean about the job taking away time that you'd like to spend on other things. For the last several years I have felt like my job is taking away my time to do the things I really want to do, and as a result I look forward to early retirement more and more.
But it wasn't always this way for me. For the first 30 plus of my working years after college I enjoyed my job, and had good enthusiasm for it. I think the reason for that was that I always felt I was growing in the job, getting better at this or that, whether it was managing people, or analyzing data, or reporting in meetings, or whatever. I always felt like I was improving myself, and that made the job, if not always fun, at least never a drag.
But now, after being demoted 7 years ago, the things I do I could do 10 years ago, and I'm not growing, and I've lost interest, although I still try to do the best job I can. But I'll retire earlier than I might of if I was still growing on the job.
So that's my long way of suggesting that if you are unhappy on your job more often than not, maybe it's because you are not growing in it. I think all of us have a strong need to grow and improve at the many things we do, whether it's the job, the marriage, parenting, the golf game, writing, virtually everything.
You will spend almost half your waking life on your job for the next 40 years or so, so it's critical to feel like you are improving yourself. If the circumstances of the job don't allow that, then that is a serious problem that should be addressed in whatever way possible.
Regarding having children, you are still young, there is no rush. I was 34 years old when I had my first, on a cold January day back in 1979.
Thanks Dad, that really speaks to me right now, as I've had sort f a wierd day with work (more on that in my next post). I guess the reasons that I have always enjoyed the restaurant world have become less and less important and enjoyable as I've moved up into management. It's a lot less people oriented and a lot more enforcing-policy oriented. Also, I don't think I would feel this way if didn't feel like there were so many other things I would rather do than my job. I guess that's just a difficult part of working, but I think it would be less of an issue if I really were challenged by my job, and still liked it. I think I am challenged, but I am challenged to do things I think are petty and unimportant, and this is not motivating...
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